Am I enough? Ever wonder that question?
Pretty enough, skinny enough, mom enough, wife enough, friend enough, desirable enough, equipped enough, talented enough, valuable enough, just plain good enough…
We make breakfast for the kids but our attempts seem mediocre compared the flawless pictures we admired on Pinterest the night before. We hit the gym and wonder how the mom with three kids seemed to escape the marks of bearing babies. We go shopping for clothes and nothing fits, making us regret consuming that chocolate cake for dessert. We fix a nice meal for dinner but then the fatigue from the day boils over, conversations go south—and yelling invades our homes.
Shame, guilt, and confusion pile on top of each other and FUEL the lies. The lies come to steal, kill, and destroy—and they weigh us down with dissatisfaction.
Eve faced this battle too all those years ago in the garden; that’s really when it all started (Genesis 3:1-7). The father of lies convinced her that she would be happier with more—that somehow by eating the fruit, her life would be more complete. She believed the lie and Adam did too. So sin infested our world creating the war between good and evil that we face every day.
Like Eve, we fall for the trap. We choose what we think is going to bring us more life when actually we are choosing the thing that empties us of real life. But there’s this part of the story that happened some two-thousand years ago—
He came to defeat death and set us free. All of our sin, shame, guilt, and the lies hung on the Cross with Him. And Love won.
Could it be that by gazing upon the beauty of the Cross and choosing to have a relationship with the One who bled for us, the One who is Truth—the lies will loose their grip and our lives will be transformed? Is His Truth what can quench our thirst for more?
Let’s look at what the Truth has to say about some of the common lies we believe as women (find a printable list of encouraging verses at the end of this post).
On Body Image
The lie: If I were skinny then all my problems would just melt away and I’d be happier.
The Truth: A woman’s body was made to bear life (Genesis 3:20). Our curves aren’t a mistake, but instead they are an interwoven part of our Maker’s perfect design. The one who despises life wants to rob us of life, and maybe that’s part of why our bodies become such an easy target.
But listen to this truth found in 1 Samuel 16:7:
The Lord does not look at the things people look at. People look at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart.
What’s going on inside of us concerns God because He loves us. He’s not saying to completely neglect our appearance, because according to Him our bodies are a temple and He wants us to care for them (1 Corinthians 6:19-20). He just knows that no amount of make-up, jewelry, or clothing will fulfill us. We settle for less by trying to gain more of what the world tells us is good, but HE is the more that we need.
No matter how physically pleasing we may be by the world’s standards, God knows we will never find lasting contentment there. He longs to feed our souls with the bread that will truly satisfy us.
Even on the bad-hair-clothes-not-fitting-days, to God we are still beautiful and He delights in us.
When the lies start to creep in we can proclaim this truth instead:
You made all the delicate, inner parts of my body and knit me together in my mother’s womb. Thank you for making me so wonderfully complex! Your workmanship is marvelous—how well I know it.” -Psalm 139:13-14 (ESV)
The lie: If I would just try a little harder and start feeding my kids homemade everything, fill our days with play dates and blissful outings and DIY crafts, then I would a better mom.
The Truth: When we fall for the trap of comparison it robs us of joy, but when we choose a heart of gratitude joy will overflow. Joy doesn’t depend on “everything going right” in order to exist. There will be mess-ups in our days, but we don’t have to accept defeat. Instead, we can accept grace and choose joy. We can embrace our unique motherhood story, rather than trying to live somebody else’s story.
And some days mommas—we are all just trying to survive. We think the mom next to us at the park with a glowing smile has it all together and therefore is a much better mom—but the truth is, she struggles too. And the truth is, we kind of need each other. Our world doesn’t need more mom wars. What we need is real moms who cheer each other on and share the messy-beautiful parts of motherhood.
Galatians 6:4 says:
Pay careful attention to your own work, for then you will get the satisfaction of a job well done, and you won’t need to compare yourself to anyone else.
Maybe it’s time we start saying NO to comparison, so that we can start saying YES to God’s best for our momma journeys.
The lie: If I had more talents then my life would have more purpose and people would like me more.
The Truth: We are made in the glorious image of the Living God and there is nothing insignificant about that.
For we are God’s masterpiece. He has created us anew in Christ Jesus, so we can do the good things he planned for us long ago. -Ephesians 2:10 (NLT)
Inside of each of us are gifts and talents that God placed in us long ago, and they are designed to bless us and the world around us—ultimately magnifying Him. If we’re having a difficult time seeing those gifts, it might be because they’re covered up with lies. When we invite Jesus in, He helps peel back layers of pain that have darkened our view and He shows us who we really are in Him.
Overcoming the lies is no easy 10-step program to freedom. It’s a life-long journey of choosing to trust the Voice of Truth over the voice of the deceiver. The lies are fierce at times but when our lives are built on the foundation of Jesus, Truth will sing its glorious tune.
The rain came down, the streams rose, and the winds blew and beat against that house; yet it did not fall, because it had its foundation on the rock. -Matthew 7:25
Find some quiet moments to be refreshed by His Word, spend time with friends who speak truth into your life, encourage those around you with words of affirmation, and discover the beauty of being anchored in the Truth.