We prayed for another child for years. My heart grew heavy after seeing a disappointing pattern of negative pregnancy tests, but hope still remained. God had blessed us with one child that we conceived naturally, and I believed it was possible again if He willed.
“Delight yourself in the Lord, and he will give you the desires of your heart. Commit your way to the Lord; trust in him, and he will act.” ~ Psalm 37:4
I was drawn to this verse often. Sometimes it stung because I wondered why God wasn’t giving my husband and I the desires of our hearts. We wanted our family to grow and our little boy to have a sibling, but it didn’t come easy for us.
While not pleasant, hardships are often where our faith is tested and strengthened.
How can we ever know true hope if we don’t have a need for it? How can we ever learn the goodness of trusting in the Lord if we’re completely self-sufficient? How can we truly become more like Christ without be refined?
Delight, commit, trust…in the Lord.
I knew this was the best way to endure a teardrop season of waiting.
Despite my circumstances, my King was worthy of my praise. I could confidently trust that His plans for me were good, even when my heart felt numb. I held onto His Promises, proclaimed His promises, believed His promises…and it was the only lasting comfort I found.
Towards the end of last year on a day when a cloud of discouragement weighed over my head, Jesus sweetly whispered to me, “Dear Child, I’m not punishing you. I’m taking care of you.”
The Good Shepherd who lovingly watches over His sheep, was taking care of me and my family, and it was like a breath of fresh air saturated in peace.
I didn’t fully understand or even close to understand, but He did and I could rest in His Love—and I could know Him more intimately in doing so.
On February 28, 2017, I knelt on my bathroom floor in awe.
Two pink lines appeared within seconds of taking the test. I stared at that stick in amazement, as I had done over six years earlier when I found out I was pregnant with my son.
There were no tears of pain this time, only tears of joy.
We prayed. We waited. God answered.
A doctor’s visit confirmed the good news.
My husband held my hand as we watched the ultrasound screen, seeing our little miracle for the first time. The new life we prayed so long for lit up the screen—heart beating strong, size of a cherry and moving around as if to greet us with a happy hello.
Winter is over and spring has sprung. New life blooms over the earth and new life blooms in me. My body is home to a little miracle, and God is fearfully and wonderfully knitting together every tiny detail in His perfect time and way.
It is no ordinary thing.
It’s amazing grace and lavish love and beauty rising from ashes.
The Creator and giver of life has heard the desires of our hearts and shown us His favor. He is able. He is faithful. He is Love. He is gracious. He is good. He moves mountains and parts mighty seas. Nothing is impossible for Him.
He is a God of miracles, and when I look at my son and growing belly, I see the evidence of a God who can do anything.